Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Monday, June 6, 2011
Week 3 - Recovering a sense of Power - Tasks
1. Describe your childhood room. Well, I remember the room at Elmira with Rob, mine on the right hand side of the room - under the window, the wardrobe nearby. I liked having posters.. The NBA one was my favourite. Then Rob moved downstairs and it was my room - though Soph needed to sneak through to get to hers. I had a desk. The one with a formica top. And a sticker of the Walker Books bear on one the drawers. One draw had partitions and a round wooden knob. The other a silver handle - that draw was jammed against the wall. It always had heaps of shit in it. Favourite thing - not sure. The favourite thing about my room when I moved downstairs was probably just being downstairs to be honest. I felt free. Room now - well I share it with the children... I have a desk, a writing table. My bed, a chest of drawers. Favourite thing - picture of Ariel and pictures by them. I would like a white board and some more adornments for the wall. As well as the children's room. Geez. This makes me feel terrible.
2. 5 traits in myself as a child, I like are playfulness, originality (really?), outgoing, energetic, brave, intelligence, grokking
3. 5 childhood accomplishments the over!!! (5 wickets and a run out). Rocky in Hat Trick. The innings vs 1st XI. The Jabberwock recital. Goal from halfway. 3 straight Jimmy Carter Quiz wins.
5 favourite childhood foods self-saucing chocolate pudding, Lasagne, Spaghetti bolognaise, cheese on toast. Debs bacon and eggs and fry ups. Splash popsicles.
4. Habits - 3 obvious rotten ones: internetting aimlessly... biting my nails... not making lunch
3 subtle ones: not getting into nature.... not meditating... not writing (not having an overarching discipline is the key one).
5. List of friends who nurture me:
Yas, Tash, Al, Serge, Willow, Soph, Max, Pete, Rob. That is all I think.
Tash: she knows me better than anyone other than Yas, Rob and Soph... she is very empathetic she is honest she is real she has integrity
Serge: he is a really beautiful man, he has massive integrity, he has enthusiasm, ambition, passion... in short he is a really quality man.
Soph: so much wisdom, so much love, very talented, very creative.. an inspiration to her big brother
6. call a friend... maybe make time to call Tash. See how she is going
7. Inner Compass - this week I must do an activity that follows my inner artist compass - LISTEN TO THE INSIGHTS THAT BUBBLE UP
8. 5 people I admire are:
Soph, Jay, Beant, Sergey, Hjalmar
5 people I secretly admire are
Angus (coolcat, ability to be easy), Amy (happy go lucky, always up for it), Simon (chilled out), Crunk (in control, ability with women), Pete (just a champ on a lot of levels)
9. 5 deadmans or wumans I wish I'd met
HCH Pearse, Robert Laurs (the original), William Blake, Ernest Hemingway, Seneca
5 deadmans I want to hang with in eternity
William Blake (creativity, art, genius)... Thoreau (simple living, a right life)... Einstein (play, fun, yarns) [this is quite difficult - I want someone with spiritual insight Gandhi, Buddha, Campell, Ralph Waldo Emerson] Bill Hicks - we could take ayahuasca together! Goethe seemed rad. Steiner too. John Seymour - get our gardens on.
10... perhaps I kinda confused the two - this step is about comparing the two lists of 5 to see who you would rather etc...
I would love to hang with the two patriachs, the visionary artist/poet, the Stoic philosopher.. Goethe too.. Abraham Maslow... man, just think of all the characters you hit up on wikipedia... CG Jung for instance.
NEED TO GO ON AN ARTIST DATE THIS WEEK. LAST WEEK WAS CURB! LET'S DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT
2. 5 traits in myself as a child, I like are playfulness, originality (really?), outgoing, energetic, brave, intelligence, grokking
3. 5 childhood accomplishments the over!!! (5 wickets and a run out). Rocky in Hat Trick. The innings vs 1st XI. The Jabberwock recital. Goal from halfway. 3 straight Jimmy Carter Quiz wins.
5 favourite childhood foods self-saucing chocolate pudding, Lasagne, Spaghetti bolognaise, cheese on toast. Debs bacon and eggs and fry ups. Splash popsicles.
4. Habits - 3 obvious rotten ones: internetting aimlessly... biting my nails... not making lunch
3 subtle ones: not getting into nature.... not meditating... not writing (not having an overarching discipline is the key one).
5. List of friends who nurture me:
Yas, Tash, Al, Serge, Willow, Soph, Max, Pete, Rob. That is all I think.
Tash: she knows me better than anyone other than Yas, Rob and Soph... she is very empathetic she is honest she is real she has integrity
Serge: he is a really beautiful man, he has massive integrity, he has enthusiasm, ambition, passion... in short he is a really quality man.
Soph: so much wisdom, so much love, very talented, very creative.. an inspiration to her big brother
6. call a friend... maybe make time to call Tash. See how she is going
7. Inner Compass - this week I must do an activity that follows my inner artist compass - LISTEN TO THE INSIGHTS THAT BUBBLE UP
8. 5 people I admire are:
Soph, Jay, Beant, Sergey, Hjalmar
5 people I secretly admire are
Angus (coolcat, ability to be easy), Amy (happy go lucky, always up for it), Simon (chilled out), Crunk (in control, ability with women), Pete (just a champ on a lot of levels)
9. 5 deadmans or wumans I wish I'd met
HCH Pearse, Robert Laurs (the original), William Blake, Ernest Hemingway, Seneca
5 deadmans I want to hang with in eternity
William Blake (creativity, art, genius)... Thoreau (simple living, a right life)... Einstein (play, fun, yarns) [this is quite difficult - I want someone with spiritual insight Gandhi, Buddha, Campell, Ralph Waldo Emerson] Bill Hicks - we could take ayahuasca together! Goethe seemed rad. Steiner too. John Seymour - get our gardens on.
10... perhaps I kinda confused the two - this step is about comparing the two lists of 5 to see who you would rather etc...
I would love to hang with the two patriachs, the visionary artist/poet, the Stoic philosopher.. Goethe too.. Abraham Maslow... man, just think of all the characters you hit up on wikipedia... CG Jung for instance.
NEED TO GO ON AN ARTIST DATE THIS WEEK. LAST WEEK WAS CURB! LET'S DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT
Week 3 - Detective work, an exercise
1. My favourite childhood toy was maybe Paddington, or one of my other bears... Husso... other than that Lego I guess, building forts/houses from lego
2. My favourite childhood game was hide and seek
3. The best movie I saw as a kid was hands down, The Princess Bride, though the Star Wars trilogy and Gremlins are pretty close... also, Labyrinth was mean and the Dark Crystal I loved those two without really understanding them (esp The Dark Crystal)... Milo and Otis has always had a special place as it was the first movie we saw as a family at Downtown.
4. I don't do it much but I enjoy going to the movies, playing soccer, kicking a ball, throwing a ball, hitting a ball in general... getting into nature, surfing, going to the beach, going to cafes...
5. If I could lighten up a little, I'd let myself talk to girls more... just be silly, a bit like Yas, a bit like Serge...
6. If I weren't too late I'd meditate every single day, and sometimes oftener...
7. My favourite musical instrument is my instrument, the tenor saxophone... then the piano, which I would love to play and have in my home
8. The amount of money I spend on treating myself to entertainment each month is very little... does drinking money count? If yes, then averaging it over a few months - maybe a few hundred... but then, other than that. None. Including Melbourne, which is kinda my entertainment... hmmm, not sure. Not much is the answer. I don't go to the movies. I never rent movies. I never buy music. Last music I bought? Maybe Dear Science... wow.
9. If I weren't so stingy with my artist, I'd buy him an iMac and an iPad and an iPhone... what an Applefag. Still it is my heritage though. Also, iPad I want for writing only. iMac is because I want a dedicated desktop. iPhone - the camera.
10. Taking time out for myself is I guess stumbling... or watching Curb, or some other series... time ill spent in my opinion...
11. I am afraid that if I start dreaming I will see how great and powerful I really am and not just buy into the "I have so much potential bullshit"
12. I secretly enjoy reading SF.... philosophy, I dunno. That is what I like. It isn't a secret per se though
13. If I had had a perfect childhood I'd have grown up to be ME! my childhood was incredible. Truly amazing... though, to think back 10 years - I was 17, finishing high school - maybe engineering? maybe a doctor - arguably one of those two.
14. If it didn't sound so crazy I'd write or make a TV series with my friends, or caricatures of them in it... Cairns, Yas...
15. My parents think artists are visionaries - direct quote from Hux re: Blake... how awesome is my Dad!
16. My God thinks artists are visionaries, way-showers.... the doorway to the infinite, the waker-upperers...
17. What makes me feel weird about this recovery is the fact I am kind of leading a double life... one here as a budding sustainability/behaviour change consultant and specialist and Masters student... and one as a talented breakaway novelist/poet/essayist/short story writer... I sometimes think in a very either/or way (perhaps a classic 10 thing - all or nothing)....so it is a little confusing at times
18. Learning to trust myself is probably about as tricky for me as being disciplined at the moment, and it really ties in to the whole self-love, self-acceptance, self-sufficiency of the heart thing - it is essential in the journey towards integration then enlightenment after that.
19. My most cheer-me-up music is interesting as I often have this dilemma at about Maylands... so I would say maybe Hot Chip, or LCD Soundsystem, on my iPod... at work - maybe Kyp's cover of This must be the place, or some Washed Out.
20. My favourite way to dress is black jeans, boots, tshirt, brown jacket. bang
2. My favourite childhood game was hide and seek
3. The best movie I saw as a kid was hands down, The Princess Bride, though the Star Wars trilogy and Gremlins are pretty close... also, Labyrinth was mean and the Dark Crystal I loved those two without really understanding them (esp The Dark Crystal)... Milo and Otis has always had a special place as it was the first movie we saw as a family at Downtown.
4. I don't do it much but I enjoy going to the movies, playing soccer, kicking a ball, throwing a ball, hitting a ball in general... getting into nature, surfing, going to the beach, going to cafes...
5. If I could lighten up a little, I'd let myself talk to girls more... just be silly, a bit like Yas, a bit like Serge...
6. If I weren't too late I'd meditate every single day, and sometimes oftener...
7. My favourite musical instrument is my instrument, the tenor saxophone... then the piano, which I would love to play and have in my home
8. The amount of money I spend on treating myself to entertainment each month is very little... does drinking money count? If yes, then averaging it over a few months - maybe a few hundred... but then, other than that. None. Including Melbourne, which is kinda my entertainment... hmmm, not sure. Not much is the answer. I don't go to the movies. I never rent movies. I never buy music. Last music I bought? Maybe Dear Science... wow.
9. If I weren't so stingy with my artist, I'd buy him an iMac and an iPad and an iPhone... what an Applefag. Still it is my heritage though. Also, iPad I want for writing only. iMac is because I want a dedicated desktop. iPhone - the camera.
10. Taking time out for myself is I guess stumbling... or watching Curb, or some other series... time ill spent in my opinion...
11. I am afraid that if I start dreaming I will see how great and powerful I really am and not just buy into the "I have so much potential bullshit"
12. I secretly enjoy reading SF.... philosophy, I dunno. That is what I like. It isn't a secret per se though
13. If I had had a perfect childhood I'd have grown up to be ME! my childhood was incredible. Truly amazing... though, to think back 10 years - I was 17, finishing high school - maybe engineering? maybe a doctor - arguably one of those two.
14. If it didn't sound so crazy I'd write or make a TV series with my friends, or caricatures of them in it... Cairns, Yas...
15. My parents think artists are visionaries - direct quote from Hux re: Blake... how awesome is my Dad!
16. My God thinks artists are visionaries, way-showers.... the doorway to the infinite, the waker-upperers...
17. What makes me feel weird about this recovery is the fact I am kind of leading a double life... one here as a budding sustainability/behaviour change consultant and specialist and Masters student... and one as a talented breakaway novelist/poet/essayist/short story writer... I sometimes think in a very either/or way (perhaps a classic 10 thing - all or nothing)....so it is a little confusing at times
18. Learning to trust myself is probably about as tricky for me as being disciplined at the moment, and it really ties in to the whole self-love, self-acceptance, self-sufficiency of the heart thing - it is essential in the journey towards integration then enlightenment after that.
19. My most cheer-me-up music is interesting as I often have this dilemma at about Maylands... so I would say maybe Hot Chip, or LCD Soundsystem, on my iPod... at work - maybe Kyp's cover of This must be the place, or some Washed Out.
20. My favourite way to dress is black jeans, boots, tshirt, brown jacket. bang
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Week 2 exercises! Recovering a sense of identity
1. Smashed the affirmations - HARD. Been doing the mirror ones too. Thanks Louise Hay.
2. My 5 major activities this week:
c Work
- 2 - Hanging out with Children
- 3 - Internet
- 4 - Study
- 5 - Sleep/other
Actually cos Sim and Al are home I have been hanging out with them more... so it is kinda skewed... hmmm, if they weren't home what would I have done. Monday and Wednesday nights have been amazing though, hanging out with Sim, George and Haidz... just laughing and laughing
3.
a) reading (3 days)
b) playing soccer (12 weeks)
c) running (a few hours)
d) surfing (nearly a year)
e) cycling (more than a year)
f) going bush (more than 3 years)
g) writing (coupla weeks)
h) cooking for others (4 months?)
i) personal spiritual stuff - retreat/sweat lodge (a year and a bit)
j) kissing a girl (11 weeks)
k) sexing (11 weeks)
l) making stuff (6 months)
m) going for a reading (5 months)
n) watching movies (2 weeks)
o) hanging out (20 mins)
p) having a drink at a bar (2 months)
q) drawing (8 months)
r) taking photos (2 months)
s) going to the beach (1 month)
t) kissing a girl (11 weeks)
4. 2 goals from this list above
writing
kissing a girl
5. affirmations. I am allowed to nurture my artist
I am allowed to nurture my artist
I am allowed to nurture my artist
I am allowed to nurture my artist
I am allowed to nurture my artist
I am allowed to nurture my artist
I am allowed to nurture my artist
I am allowed to nurture my artist
I am allowed to nurture my artist
I am willing to create I am willing to create I am willing to create
I am willing to create I am willing to create I am willing to create
I am willing to create I am willing to create I am willing to create
6. 5 imaginary lives
footballer
marathon man
singer
poet
surgeon
7. ok this diagram shows
spirituality
exercise
play
work
friends
adventure/romance
well the diagram wouldn't upload - basically low everywhere... medium on friends/work/exercise
8. 10 tiny changes
1. get into nature daily
2. meditate with intent twice daily
3. do the swish pattern twice daily for three weeks beginning tonight
4. save $200 per fortnight
5. masturbate to climax only 3 times a week - other times, just play
6. write daily
7. read more
8. read the books in the shelf
9. do Louise Hay work
10. do uni work and study smart
NOW I am going to do the swish pattern
2. My 5 major activities this week:
c Work
- 2 - Hanging out with Children
- 3 - Internet
- 4 - Study
- 5 - Sleep/other
Actually cos Sim and Al are home I have been hanging out with them more... so it is kinda skewed... hmmm, if they weren't home what would I have done. Monday and Wednesday nights have been amazing though, hanging out with Sim, George and Haidz... just laughing and laughing
3.
a) reading (3 days)
b) playing soccer (12 weeks)
c) running (a few hours)
d) surfing (nearly a year)
e) cycling (more than a year)
f) going bush (more than 3 years)
g) writing (coupla weeks)
h) cooking for others (4 months?)
i) personal spiritual stuff - retreat/sweat lodge (a year and a bit)
j) kissing a girl (11 weeks)
k) sexing (11 weeks)
l) making stuff (6 months)
m) going for a reading (5 months)
n) watching movies (2 weeks)
o) hanging out (20 mins)
p) having a drink at a bar (2 months)
q) drawing (8 months)
r) taking photos (2 months)
s) going to the beach (1 month)
t) kissing a girl (11 weeks)
4. 2 goals from this list above
writing
kissing a girl
5. affirmations. I am allowed to nurture my artist
I am allowed to nurture my artist
I am allowed to nurture my artist
I am allowed to nurture my artist
I am allowed to nurture my artist
I am allowed to nurture my artist
I am allowed to nurture my artist
I am allowed to nurture my artist
I am allowed to nurture my artist
I am willing to create I am willing to create I am willing to create
I am willing to create I am willing to create I am willing to create
I am willing to create I am willing to create I am willing to create
6. 5 imaginary lives
footballer
marathon man
singer
poet
surgeon
7. ok this diagram shows
spirituality
exercise
play
work
friends
adventure/romance
well the diagram wouldn't upload - basically low everywhere... medium on friends/work/exercise
8. 10 tiny changes
1. get into nature daily
2. meditate with intent twice daily
3. do the swish pattern twice daily for three weeks beginning tonight
4. save $200 per fortnight
5. masturbate to climax only 3 times a week - other times, just play
6. write daily
7. read more
8. read the books in the shelf
9. do Louise Hay work
10. do uni work and study smart
NOW I am going to do the swish pattern
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Week 1 - Exercises
1. Yep... did the pages
2. Artist date - watched Tron: Legacy AND something else... which I forget. The something else I preferred though.
3. 3 old enemies of my creative self worth... that teacher at school who hated on my story. Rebecca. Willy McPhail that jerk who razzed me hard, and basically all of PNINS man... haters gon' hate though.
4. Horror story:
I remember FILLING the writing part of my exercise book one morning when I was about 6 or 7 (half the page was lined, the other half blank for pictures. And I had written "I am going to Leigh's house after school and we are going to play and play and play and play and play...usw"... I was so stoked... thought it was creative (a bit)... my teacher hated it. Made me feel like I was a total dick too... mean.
5. Letter....
6. 3 champions. Ma, Crunks (Cal too), Al.
7. Crunks - Sue said to me how I should write stories and that Cal and Stew had said that too... it made me feel so good and excited and like Hemingway! oh but it did I love to hear that and also when Al says I should write... makes me happy as.
8. 5 other lives: Footballer, Pilot, Farmer, concert pianist, primary school teacher (Steiner).
2. Artist date - watched Tron: Legacy AND something else... which I forget. The something else I preferred though.
3. 3 old enemies of my creative self worth... that teacher at school who hated on my story. Rebecca. Willy McPhail that jerk who razzed me hard, and basically all of PNINS man... haters gon' hate though.
4. Horror story:
I remember FILLING the writing part of my exercise book one morning when I was about 6 or 7 (half the page was lined, the other half blank for pictures. And I had written "I am going to Leigh's house after school and we are going to play and play and play and play and play...usw"... I was so stoked... thought it was creative (a bit)... my teacher hated it. Made me feel like I was a total dick too... mean.
5. Letter....
6. 3 champions. Ma, Crunks (Cal too), Al.
7. Crunks - Sue said to me how I should write stories and that Cal and Stew had said that too... it made me feel so good and excited and like Hemingway! oh but it did I love to hear that and also when Al says I should write... makes me happy as.
8. 5 other lives: Footballer, Pilot, Farmer, concert pianist, primary school teacher (Steiner).
Week1 - Recovering a Sense of Safety
OK... so how many times has week 1 been...
many times.
Here I go though 12 solid weeks
many times.
Here I go though 12 solid weeks
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